Despite loving to travel with my family, our recent trip taught me that I need a break. I need 15 minutes to be selfish and enjoy the scenery on my very own. And I don’t even feel guilty about it.

my 15 minutes of selfishness

I woke up after a deep and restful sleep. There was already light in the room, coming from the small window right in front of me. I stretched slowly. In no hurry. It was quiet and I couldn’t nor wanted to guess the time. Instead I embraced the silence and snug deeper into the covers, shuddering at the thought that back home it was over 30 degrees. I wanted to stay this way forever.

Finally I reluctantly got up since I needed to use the bathroom. My bare feet padded on the cold stone floor. I checked on the kids in the living room. They were still sound asleep despite the clock on the wall showing it was well past nine.

We discarded our routine the second the plane touched the ground in Glasgow. It never gets properly dark this far North where we found our piece of heaven. And we just kept coming home late from our adventures, then sleeping in. And for the first time, I didn’t mind.

I couldn’t care less about schedules and must see sights.

We lived carefree, oblivious to to the world, in our cocoon finally relaxed and happy to just be together.

Yet I yearned for a few minutes. To be alone while I stared into the Ocean and tried to commit the view to my memory. So, it will last and be my drug of choice whenever I am feeling down.

I dressed quickly then, put on my sneakers, a sweat shirt underneath my jacket. I decided to walk to the shore. It was only about five minutes of a leisurely stroll but I had yet to do it. I gently opened the door, to find a couple of sheep grazing in our yard. No fence seemed to be working, because somehow they found their way in.

I never knew this until our visit but sheep equal a huge amount of shit. And let me tell you Scotland has plenty of sheep.

With my eyes glued to the gravel road, I didn’t have time to take in my surroundings. We learned quickly that in Scotland you better watch where you are going, to avoid stepping into shit or ending knee deep in water on their famous moors.

It felt good to hear nothing but the sound of gravel crunching beneath my feet and the wind playing with my hair. The sun was shining but with so many clouds scattered around, the weather was about to change. I didn’t mind. The mercurial Scottish weather matched my mood perfectly.

I walked over to the edge of the cliff. There was a path down to the beach, but it would take too much time. I needed to be back soon. Instead I just stood there at the top, with sheep curiously observing me and I took a breath. Then another and another. And I closed my eyes, opened them slowly as if I was afraid I had conjured the scenery. But my imagination isn’t as great.

I stood there alone and recharged all my batteries. Breathing. Letting my mind wonder. Thinking of ways we could stay. Discarding all the ideas and just being thankful for this moment in time.

Then I went back to our cottage happy and relaxed. Like I knew the secrets of the Universe. And I enjoyed every second of our stay. I didn’t dwell on leaving any longer, all I am thinking is of returning.