Don’t you hate it? Growing up wasn’t that the one sentence you couldn’t stand? You just knew you were done the second it was out, no more arguments, no more please, you’ve crashed and burned. And it made you feel so inadequate, despite the fact your case was stronger and it made complete sense, but you just hit the stone wall and it was over. In that second after hearing it a couple of times, I swore I would never do that to my kids, I would explain, I’d find a spin on because I said so, I’d try harder and not take the easy way out. But recently I’ve realized I am too tired to explain the little stuff, like why we have to go to bed and why a shower is necessary and so on. And truly how many different reasons can there be, I mean I’d have to hire an ad agency to sell this stuff. So, I am slowly turning into a parent Nazi.
And I see it in my kids’ eyes, probably the same look I gave my parents, pure bewilderment and honest disappointment at pulling the big guns. And my kids already question me why does it have to be my way. The scary thing is that I really just want to say because I said so. You know what my darlings? For a few years I am still going to know better and to spare me some nerves and just to save up on time, I’ll be the bad guy. And I know, you will not do the same to your kids, but really, I said the same and here I am not letting you eat chocolate for breakfast.
It’s called going to college. Feels like you were released form the captivity and into the wild. You try turning your life upside down, defy the rules and test every no to see if it holds. And if you are lucky you suddenly realize they were right, it is better to eat greens, you feel sick after too much chocolate and eventually you have to go to sleep or you’ll never be able to pass the exams and you’ll have to return home to a life of misery, to put it mildly.
Still, I was young and full of ideals and most of all I wasn’t sooo tired and preoccupied with a thousand little things as well as some very big ones. I saw young parents and I remembered mine and I swore I’d do it differently. Yet what I didn’t realize at a time, is that both me and mine parents before me want the same. We want our kids to be happy but foremost safe and to grow up into individuals that can take on this complicate harsh world. Thus the two us have to be the ones setting up boundaries, teaching them they can’t have it all, making them see that some battles can’t be won (the infamous I said so), while others that truly matter can (like picking up what to wear, I stopped making that decision for her long time ago). Yes, I do wish it wasn’t up to me, so I could stuff them with candy, let them be awake till they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore and play with whatever they assume is fun enough. But I do take the responsibility seriously and looking back so did my parents and just for awhile longer they’ll have to deal with our I said so. And hopefully it will teach them that ours are the ones that make sense, while in life there might be plenty of those that don’t. Those I want them to ignore. Why? Well, weren’t you paying attention, because I said so.